


United States Antartica

by Shleapord



Series: Hey, Brother [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, WandaVision (TV), Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Gen, I literally have no other tags, M/M, and kiiinda for this one but not really, chat fic, groupchat, honestly go read the other one or this fic isnt gonna make much sense, might write more for this idk, or i guess, spoilers for wandavision ep 8 if you go to other fic in the series, young avengers shenanagins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:36:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29912898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shleapord/pseuds/Shleapord
Summary: Cassie, Kate, and Eli probably should be used to Teddy, Tommy, and Billy not knowing basic things like how to use scissors or what PEMDAS is, but seriously, this is getting a little ridiculous.
Relationships: Everyone & Everyone, Teddy Altman/Billy Kaplan (implied/backround), theyre all friends - Relationship
Series: Hey, Brother [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2199657
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	United States Antartica

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Oh, When the Sky Comes Falling Down](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29912511) by [Shleapord](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shleapord/pseuds/Shleapord). 



> Hawkeye the cooler: Kate (because she’s the cooler hawkeye, out of the two)  
> Maygickyk: Billy (my attempt to misspell magic as horribly as possible)  
> Antionette: Cassie (because of the running joke in the ant-man movies to name the ants ant puns)  
> Patriot: Eli (because PROFESSIONALISM)  
> Nyoom: Tommy (because gotta go fast)  
> Teddy bear: Teddy (because teddy bear)

Hawkeye the cooler: hey guys guess what

Maygickyk: shut up shut up shut up shut

Antionette: okay what happened this time

Maygickyk: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

Hawkeye the cooler: Billy I love you but if you accidentally cast a spell on me via text again I’m gonna shoot you

Maygickyk: :(

Nyoom: oooooh what happened

Maygickyk: KATE I BEG OF YOU

Hawkeye the cooler: OKAY SO

Patriot: what’s going on

Hawkeye the cooler: BILLY MY FRIEND  
Hawkeye the cooler: DOES NOT KNOW WHAT KANSAS IS

Maygickyk: STOP BULLYING ME I HAD A WEIRD CHILDHOOD

Nyoom: wE hAd A wEiRd ChIlDhOoD dude even I know what Kansas is its the capital of the USA

Antionette: nobody say anything

Hawkeye the cooler: Tommy quick what does USA stand for

Nyoom: United States Antarctica

Hawkeye the cooler: so close

Teddy bear: isn’t Kansas a state

Patriot: that is correct

Teddy bear: and isn’t it THE United States OF Antarctica? Tommy you’re missing some words there

Maygickyk: Teddy it’s the united states of arctic you mixed them up

Hawkeye the cooler: I’m gonna cry

Teddy bear: oh yeah sorry

Antionette: Eli as one of the co-leaders of this team can we please bully them? Please

Hawkeye the cooler: as the other co-leader of the team I say go for it

Maygickyk: ???????

Patriot: no bullying teammates

Hawkeye the cooler: as co-leader I’m launching a military takeover, I’m now dictator of the groupchat and as my first decree: bully the teammates

Maygickyk: why are you and Eli co-leaders why can’t I be a leader

Hawkeye the cooler: because we’re the oldest, sit down you’re like two

Maygickyk: :(

Nyoom: what are we being bullied for I thought billy and teddy’s combined brain cells figured out the geography

Patriot: It’s the United States of America

Maygickyk: Lies and slander

Antionette: How did you guys not know that we are literally on a team with a guy who has the same powers as captain America

Teddy bear: I thought he was named after the continent!!!! North america!!!

Hawkeye the cooler: CAPTAIN NORTH AMERICA

Antionette: teddy I love you

Maygickyk: :/

Antionette: but not as much as billy loves you smh

Nyoom: we live in south america though

Patriot: okay then

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the other fic I wrote, “Oh, if the sky comes falling down (for you)”, where I decided I didn’t like the fact that Billy and Tommy “died” after ep. 8, and so I wrote about what if Billy got himself and Tommy out at the last second. And while writing that I realized that Tommy and Billy are going to be so goddamn weird because their childhood was a) a week long and b) not at all normal. Therefore, in this AU, they have no idea how to act in society and also they never went to school while in Westview and so didn’t know things like multiplication or geography. Wanda’s trying but it’s very hard to explain to schools how the ten year olds don’t know normal people things like “what year is it” and “how old are you”.
> 
> This is also assuming that after Tommy and Billy bust out they age at a normal rate.


End file.
